


The Happy Route

by JayCKx



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, yeah that but he doesnt leave so they get the happy ending they deserve :(, yknow the scene before juno leaves peter when theyre in the hotel n peter is asleep??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 15:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16789468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayCKx/pseuds/JayCKx
Summary: Peter Nureyev was beautiful; he trusted Juno, even loved him--loved him enough to risk his life for him every time, trusted him enough to take Juno on his word and believe in his promises.And he deserved a hell of a lot better than what Juno had just been considering.





	The Happy Route

**Author's Note:**

> Yes hello I'm literally 2 years late to this party but I just started listening to the penumbra and this scene ripped my heart out, juno and peter deserved a happy ending exploring the universe together ok!! so i wrote this to fix my sad, sad heart.

"You know Juno, call me a fool if you like, but I think I may have fallen in love with you," Peter murmurs quietly, a yawn interspersing his tired words. Juno pauses, his heart lurching in his chest for a moment, and stares at the other man, whose eyes are falling closed.

"I..." he rasps, his brain trying to catch up with the sudden dizzy feeling blooming inside of him. A puff of air leaves his lips in some semblance of a laugh, and Juno is shocked to realise that he's absolutely _delighted_. "If you're a fool, that makes two of us," he replies, smiling softly. Peter lets out a soft, warm, laugh, barely more than a happy hum from deep in his throat, and turns his face into the pillow. 

He falls asleep in minutes. Juno watches him in the dark for hours.

He can smell Peter's addictive cologne, and see the sharp teeth peek past his lips as he gently snores. Nureyev sleeps deeply, like someone who knows the tomorrow he's waking up to will be one worth showing up for. Lying next to him, Juno feels that way too. And suddenly, desperately he wants to chase a future of that feeling every day, with _him_.

So, he's caught. He's trying to decide what to do, because admitting that fact to himself is, well, scary. Which is ridiculous, of course: he's just survived days in an ancient tomb, escaped from certain death by Miasma, dealt his eye blowing itself up, and through it all Peter was the one there for him. Nureyev was the one who broke out of the tomb and came back for him, the one who cried out for Juno when he thought he was dead and desperately clawed at the door between them in an attempt to get him out. Nureyev was the one who said I love you first. Juno trusted him, and trust wasn't something he gave out lightly. In this place trust usually got you killed, but this time it had saved his life and given him something to hold on to. 

However in this place, having something to hold on to just meant you would get hurt even more when somebody inevitably ripped it away.

But maybe, with Nureyev, it wouldn't have to be like that anymore! They could get out of this place, traverse the universe together, be _free_. Things would be different with him. Juno already knew that Peter Nureyev was the best thing to ever happen to him, would it really be so bad to let himself have that? To, for once, let himself love and be loved, to trust someone fully and be trusted back, to have something good all for himself? To be _selfish_? To be...happy?

And there. That was the problem.

Because Juno has seen it all before. It takes a lot of people to fill up Hyperion City: killer stars and runaway execs and starving kids and bad parents, old friends who made it, old friends who didn't, smugglers, murderers, mercenaries and mad anthropologists... master thieves. And private eyes. Juno's met enough of those people in his line of work, and he's noticed something. Everyone thinks they have got the answer. 

They think they've found that silver laser that promises they'll be happy forever. But no-one's ever been happy forever. All those people chasing after all those promises, running full-tilt towards a thousand paradises that _never_ were, and _never_ are going to be, **Steel** , _no matter how bad you want it._ And god, does he want it. But he can't have it. 

Maybe he needs to just stop, to lie down and let all those other runners trample him in the hopeless dash for eternal happiness.

_What would it be like_ , Juno wonders, _if I walked away right now?_ If he put what he _wanted_ aside to do what he _needed_ , if he let himself get a little bigger and a little meaner along with the world. 

If he left now, then he'd go home. Or, at least, he'd go to his apartment. He'd look out his window at the mansions floating above Uptown, the drunks drifting through the streets, the addicts who've turned their skin to pincushions and the powerful people who profit off every pinprick. He'd continue to be Juno Steel, private eye. But no matter what path he chose, this would always be his city. He wasn't proud of it, but it was.

So nothing, no matter how sweet, meant he could just abandon it. It didn't matter how much work he'd already done, didn't matter matter how acutely he knew he could barely make a difference here anyway. He'd given himself a responsibility to Hyperion City, and if he stayed here next to Nureyev, he'd be failing in that duty. If he walked away right now, though, (and he could walk away, because he _knows_ Peter sleeps too deeply), then he could continue on with his life as its always been and always should be. Juno should be strong, and push his feelings to the side, because _nobody_ can be happy forever, and no matter what he believes this couldn't be his paradise. He would walk out that hotel door and keep living.

Except, Juno thinks he might linger in the doorway for a minute. He'd pause, and look back into the hotel room to inhale one last glimpse of this fairy-tale future. And _then_ he would walk away and go back to the real world, where he had duties and responsibilities.

But what if he heard Peter's voice, sleepy and innocent and confused, call his name as he walked away? Could he really leave after hearing that, after knowing that for a few precious moments Nureyev would be drowsily trying to figure out why there was a cooling space in the bed next to him, despite the fact that Juno had promised him, just a few hours before, that they'd leave and be together

And then he'd wake up and realise that Juno had broken his promise. He'd know that Juno had left, and therefore hurt him when he was most vulnerable. Christ, would he think that Juno had lied when he'd told Nureyev that he _loved_ him? Could Juno really do that to him?

 _It wouldn't work_ , Juno reminded himself fiercely, _there are no happily-ever-afters_.

He had a choice, and he was stuck, but he knew which route was the one he was meant to take. Juno could see his pants across the room, his belt still in the loops. It would be so easy to slide out from under the blankets, pull them on, and leave without Nureyev knowing.

Then the man in question shifted beside him, unconsciously nuzzling into Juno, and Juno snapped back into the present. He looked down at Peter--his feathery black hair was splayed in stark contrast again Juno's pillow, and his skin was smooth and pale. He was tall and lean and graceful, even as he curled up fast asleep. His breath was warm where it ghosted across Juno's arm, and even though his eyes were shut Juno had the exact colour and astounding brightness of them memorised. Peter Nureyev was beautiful; he trusted Juno, even loved him--loved him enough to risk his life for him every time, trusted him enough to take Juno on his word and believe in his promises.

And he deserved a hell of a lot better than what Juno had just been considering.

Juno let out a shaky breath, still torn inside. He didn't let his gaze slip from Nureyev's face, though--he was all sharp teeth and cheekbones, high eyebrows and a soft expression. Cunning to a fault when awake, yet completely vulnerable and open when asleep. He wanted a future with Juno, a life with him, where they could freely explore the galaxy together and never be held down. A life where they could walk hand-in-hand around new planets and kiss on spaceships and con rich people together and be carefree and in love. Juno had promised him that, and he wanted it too. He wanted it so badly. It sounded like a dream, like he must have made Nureyev all up in his mind because nobody that good could ever want such a perfect life with Juno.

Perfection was a trap, though, and nothing was ever set out like one first imagined. The idea of a life exploring the stars with Peter sounded perfect, which meant it was only going to disappoint and hurt them both. Pessimism was a real kicker, but it was better than getting your hopes entirely dashed and shattered by life.

But with every deep breath Nureyev took next to him it got harder for Juno to remind himself of that truth. Because the man next to him had done the impossible before, and many times. Hell, he'd gotten Juno to fall in love with him almost immediately, which was a once-in-a-lifetime achievement all by itself, so why couldn't a future together be impossible? Why couldn't Juno just be _happy_ for once, surely the universe owed him one by now! He wasn't naive enough to truly believe that life with Peter would be the dream his mind kept imagining, or that he'd be completely happy all the time, but...

Well, a life with Nureyev in it seemed incredibly happier than any other life Juno could possibly think of.

This might all backfire on him. Staying in this bed might be a mistake, he might end up coming back to Mars a week after leaving, and this whole decision might hurt more than anything else in his life. But for Nureyev, for this trust and love and this impossible future together, Juno was willing to try.

He never did hear what Peter's voice would sound like calling after him, faint and confused. He never had to, because he never walked out of that hotel door alone. Juno made his decision, and the screaming half of him that was bursting with emotional attachment issues insisted he was making the wrong choice, but the quieter, in-love part of him soared with pleasure. 

It was a lot easier to listen to the in-love part of him when he slid deeper under the covers, curled his arms around Nureyev, and felt him snuggle closer to him and unconsciously let out a happy sigh.

They left Mars together, hand in hand, and Juno watched Hyperion City get further and further away until it was just a blur in a haze of orange dust. Then he looked at Peter, who was already gazing at him with bright, bright eyes and a soft, excited smile. His kiss was as soft as ever, and his arms around Juno were still sure, firm and reassuring.

Peter Nureyev took Juno to the stars. He dragged him through vibrant nebula and showed him dying suns; he pointed out the glittering silver of far-off stars against the ink of the void and found pictures within them, engaging in the universe's biggest game of connect-the-dots. Together they travelled to Venus, and Jupiter, and Mercury, then flew to the Andromeda Galaxy and all its solar systems, than traversed even beyond that. Nureyev showed Juno planets with blue skies and an abundance of green grass; he compared Juno's beauty to constellations, held him tightly at the slightest of indications, and divulged to Juno about his past. He bought (or stole) him jewellery and guns, and when Juno was upset about his current sharpshooting skills Peter gifted him intricate knives and gently kissed his eyelids until Juno smiled.

In turn Juno told Nureyev about himself. He covered for him and kissed him and explored the forgotten corners of the universe with him. He tried on Peter's glasses to make him laugh, and went to fancy parties and told ridiculous stories and stepped forward into Nureyev's embrace every time. However no, he wasn't happy all the time: there were still wounds to be bandaged and panicked, terrified situations; there were arguments and disagreements and petty circumstances, bad moods and painful memories and sad anniversaries. But Nureyev was there for him through all of it, so Juno readily returned the favour.

And, Juno was stunned to realise, for once in his life the good seemed to outweigh the bad. Juno saw things so beautiful he'd never even dreamed of them; he'd stumbled upon adventures and created memories with Peter by his side. The dark nights were overshadowed by warm, languid mornings curled up tightly together, and easy days where Juno got to hear Nureyev's rich laugh, velvety voice and honey compliments for as long as he pleased.

So it wasn't perfect, and it wasn't constantly happy, and sometimes it didn't feel like a dream or a fairy-tale. But Peter Nureyev was the best thing that had ever happened to Juno Steel, and he was _never_ going to let that go.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @roselup


End file.
